Tuesday, April 12, 2005

As if on a stage

Arriving home tonight, went over to see Jack and offer him a sandwich. I had purchased it for Jessica, but she was not home to receive it. We chatted for a while. He asked if I would mind if they rented the apartment while I was away. I told him I was open to the idea, but after I went away and considered the proposal, it became clear that this was a sign it’s time to go. Sixteen years living off their generosity is enough. My life must go through some changes now.

***

This morning, a message went out that the former Robert Mondavi Executive Offices at 841 Latour Court in Napa would be open for us to browse before the movers arrive to transport furnishings to storage. We were welcome to take anything we wished (besides the furnishings themselves.)

The scene was reminiscent of a flea market, though a flea market late in the day. I wandered through the clutter, not so interested in finding anything of value, but to walk with a strange sense of wonder at this now silent stage where once would “strut and fret” powerful men and women.

The work of so many was now in boxes, trash cans, stacked carelessly on desktops, as if suddenly everyone realized the meaninglessness of it all. In a sense it was sad, recalling the days we were crowded into this large office space, a hive of activity. But it also reinforced my conviction that the time is right for a new adventure. “Everything dies.”

Arrived at my usual evening “hang-out”, “A’Roma Roasters” in Santa Rosa’s Railroad Square. In a vacant lot across the tracks, a fight had broken out among a group of homeless people, one fellow screaming that another had raped his “girl.”

The accused was knocked to the ground and the accuser started kicking him. He then picked up a stick and was striking the poor fellow curled up on the ground. I yelled out and started towards them. The wild man was apparently intoxicated and came towards me, shouting accusations, snot running from his nose, his forearm in a cast. He was a mess. And, not much of a threat.

But he had broken off the attack and that was all I was concerned about. I didn’t feel any fear, just a sense of injustice, not only about the violence, but that so many are abandoned by society.

Standing in line for my coffee, I wondered if I had done "the right thing". There’s so much I don’t know about the human condition.

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