Monday, May 28, 2007

Memorial Day

What a bizarre night last night! As I lay in bed, a strange throbbing in my left foot keeping me agitated, but also a caffeine-like electricity coursing through, I recalled Fellowship of Friends students I’ve known, names arising that have not occurred to me in thirty years. My memory replayed images of each "teaching house" I had lived in, each “octave” (project) and the faces and usually names of those present. Hundreds, it must have been.

Why all this data? Of what use is it to recall? Mental clutter. Something would like to think there is some inherent value in these recollections, but I doubt it.

Slept until 9:00, though the neighbor commenced weed-whipping around 7:00. In vain, I tried to ignore it.

Looking at myself in the mirror, it’s clear to see there is little respect, self-worth, purpose. Take a shower. Try to refresh and set aside those thoughts.

Immediately turned to the "FOF" blog, reading another 40 posts. Pseudonymous characters such as "Howard Carter" present the imperturbable face of the "Fellowship". The well-known act (or is it?) Someone has posted two videos of Robert teaching on "YouTube". Taken in recent years, I assume, his words, gestures, mannerisms are no different than 20 years ago. If something works, stick with it. Is it simple because it’s the truth? Is it simple because it’s effective and difficult to refute? And the more obstinate, the more it appears like conviction (simply think of George W. Bush.)

Being Memorial Day, I’m inclined to ruminate on all this, and even formulate a more expansive response than my previous quips. As if addressing my own inner questions.

At home, a simple thing like making fresh salsa evokes a curious melancholy, as though this has been something lost to my life. Then I think “well, you’re been on the road for two years, silly. No wonder!”

Spent so much of the day reading the "Fellowship of Friends Discussion" blog and formulating a response (or contribution) that might reflect some of the thoughts and emotions I’ve felt in the past few days. It was late in the day when I finally wrapped it up and submitted my comment.

On the trip, I was talking with someone about not knowing if on a motorcycle I was protected from lightning. "No, there’s no Faraday’s Cage," they responded. I didn’t know the term, but since looked it up. I think that person was correct.

I also researched "lostandfound.com" It already exists! Exactly as I would have imagined it.

[For more on the Fellowship of Friends and its teacher, see: "Robert Earl Burton: An Unauthorized Blogography".]

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