Friday, June 20, 2008

George W.'s "To Do" List

Only 212 days to go. He's going to be a busy boy!
  • Bomb Iran (need to get moving on this one)
  • Anything left to bomb in North Korea?
  • Secure 58 permanent military bases in Iraq (getting close!)
  • Iraq resource "sharing" agreements for ExxonMobil, BP, Shell
  • Drill ANWR - Crush those enviro-bastards! (Chuckchi Sea leases complete)
  • Check on threats to humans from excessive Polar Bear populations
  • Sell oil leases along CA and FL coasts (damn Democrats. And what's up with Arnold?)
  • EPA/NASA/NOAA - need that "Hidden Benefits of CO2 Emissions" report ASAP!
  • Assure protection of Afghanistan's opium crops (in progress)
  • Establish independent state for OBL/Al Qaeda on Afghan-Pakistani frontier (give them Kashmir?)
  • Arrange for the further misplacement of nuclear warheads (John could use the security card)
  • Transfer Federal Prisons and border security to Blackwater (check with WH counsel on talking points)
  • Work the Chavez-Iran terror link in Venezuela
  • Work the Correa-FARQ terror link in Ecuador
  • Work the Morales-Communist angle in Bolivia
  • Bob - isn't there something we can do about the Castros?
  • Work the AFRICOM defending our interests in Africa angle
  • Relocate Palestinians (Sudan? Zimbabwe?)
  • Send more hardware to Colombia to protect the coca crop (in progress)
  • Get with John on the number of nukular plants needed - Arctic may be good location
  • Have Dick polish up the "clean coal" initiative - Wyoming and West Virginia need guarantees
  • Any more Rocky Mountain or Red Rock Country oil leases left to hand out?
  • "Disappear" remaining Guantanamo detainees to black sites
  • Draft Presidential Pardons for all likely targets
  • Karl - campaign manager for Jenna? (depending on Rapture)
  • Make sure my 100,000-acre Paraguay property is move-in ready
  • Nestle - how much for exclusive access to Guarani Aquifer?
  • Lula - how's golf in the Amazon?
  • Sell puny Crawford ranch (but don't tell Cindy Sheehan - ha, ha, ha)
  • Rapture party supplies
  • Party guest list
  • Reserve Air Force 1 and 2 (check with JC on dates)

1 comment:

aikidoka said...

depending on rapture... awesome!